Excellent advice from Yahoo!

June 14, 2007

I’m semi-obsessed with those Yahoo! “advice” “articles”. They’re always about things like “How to beat the summer heat!” and seem to be written by people with books to flog. Or computer programs. And the only punctuation they have available is a lot of !!!!!!!

The advice is always kind of amazing in the sheer density of how stupid and obvious it is. A HOW TO BEAT THE SUMMER HEAT article would have things like:

1) Some buildings may have contraptions called “air conditioning units”! If yours does, ask your super to turn it on! You’ll be surprised at what a difference it makes!

2) Just for the duration of the summer, consider cutting back on your hot yoga classes! You’ll be surprised to realize that exercising in a 100-degree room can really turn up the heat!

3) Sure, those moonboots are comfortable AND stylish! But when the mercury rises, don’t forget to go for a lighter color! Whites and light pastels – or even, for the daring, a metallic! – will help reflect the sun’s rays from your tootsies! We know it’s a hard switch to make, but you may even consider changing into a pair of airy loafers for the season! You’ll be surprised to realize how much less your feet sweat when not encased in foam!

I don’t know what the target readership is for these articles. Newly-arrived aliens? Dogs trying to pass as human?  The incredibly dumb?

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