You should come out and see my play. It’s about… TERROR.

July 2, 2007

I’m a terrible person. I was reading some news article on a “terror network”, and of course what they mean is a bunch of people living in Britain who thought it would be good times to fire-bomb the Glasgow airport. But what it made me think of was those semi-awful industry mixers where you’re all supposed to pretend like you’re enjoying yourself, but obviously you can’t REALLY enjoy yourself, because you’re there to get people to come see your showcase/take your class/look at your headshots/read your script based on your own life as an organic carrot farmer.

Which – naturally! – makes you think about terror network mixers, and makes you wonder if people at such mixers are as full of crap as people at other kinds of networking events.

PERSON AT INDUSTRY MIXER
What am I doing these days? Oh, amazing things. Amazing things are in the pipeline! …Actually, I left my agent. She wasn’t doing anything for me. But I’m really excited about it! I should be staffed in the next three or four weeks, basically.

PERSON AT TERROR NETWORK MIXER
What am I doing these days? Oh, amazing things. You know that Glasgow situation? That was me. …no, we weren’t disappointed with how it turned out. Actually, we left those guys, and we’re working with some new people on some AMAZING ideas they have. It’s all very exciting. VERY EXCITING. We’re going to revolutionize terror as we know it! So what’s up with you? Still posting hate speech on the internet?

Also, on Friday, we went downtown to the fabric district. (Naomi and I like to pretend that we sew, but mostly we… collect fabric.) And I bought fabric with chickens and carrots and “CORN: 10 CENTS” on it. And I said “Hey, Naomi! I think I’m going to make a skirt out of this.” and Naomi said: “…okay. I mean, you’ll look like a schoolteacher.”

Obviously, normal people would be deterred by this. But as I am today wearing my hair in a bun and also sporting a skirt covered in cartoonish trees and people staring at said cartoonish trees, I feel that this is a line-that-should-not-be-crossed that I crossed long ago.

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