Some things I am pondering on this fine Friday:
July 6, 2007
1) Okay, if dogs became super-intelligent and had gas stations and credit cards and all the other accoutrements of sentience, do you think they would all shave off their fur, or wear fur-containing suits, or get it lasered off? Because it would be so weird if you went to, like, Dog White House, and the Dog Oval Office had dog hair drifting around everywhere and Dog President was like “Please, have a seat! Oh… sorry. The Secretary of State was just in here.” as you picked clumps of Golden Retriever fur off the sofa before sitting down.
2) Naomi and I have this imaginary animated show called DwT (Dogs. With Thumbs.) about time-traveling, crime-fighting super-intelligent dogs. With opposable thumbs.
No one ever likes this idea. They give us the “Heh” Of Doom and then look away awkwardly. Even people who are mildly amused by Jesus Local 642, about the WeHo Messiah’s union, don’t like DwT.
3) Earlier, I went to get some coffee, and I was coming through a doorway and a man holding a small container of yogurt was coming through from the other direction, and then he ELBOWED ME IN THE BOOB and then we both got the same expression of horrified tearfulness and I said “Sorry.” and he said “…S-sorry. Sorry.” and I walked away really quickly and he called after me “I’m– I’m sorry!”
It was really awkward! When you elbow someone in the boob, the polite thing to do is IGNORE IT.