When we make it, I’m going shopping at AEROSOLES.

July 15, 2007

Today’s search strings:

dorky girl thumbs
why do men like girl on girl action?

Naomi and I met up for a late breakfast at Denny’s, and then waddled back to her apartment and watched an episode of THE WORLD’S TOUGHEST MATCHMAKER (possibly not its actual name), wherein the World’s Toughest Matchmaker tried to help a former pro wrestler find love. Only, he was one of those Nervous Laughers. And he took his date rock climbing, and the climbing instructor totally hit on her, and she liked it. And also, his pro wrestling career encompassed one (1) bout in the Upstate New York League. Amazingly, the girl he went on the date with decided he wasn’t the one.

Then we took Naomi’s dog Buddy to the dog park.

This is Buddy (full name: Buddy Buddy Goodboy), wearing a sweater Naomi knit for him to be hilarious. He looks small, but he’s a very dense dog who walks like a boxer. Also, he can burn you to a cinder WITH HIS EYES:

At the dog park, we met a woman who wanted to tell us about her rock collection, and then we watched two dog owners try to get their male dogs to stop humping each other without actually acknowledging that they were humping each other.

Then we went back to Naomi’s apartment and watched part of something about the WORLD POP CULTURE QUIZ FESTIVAL. Between us we had a startlingly high level of knowledge about Alec Baldwin, president of East Coast Television and Microwave Oven Programming.

It was at this juncture that Naomi started to look through the ad insert that came with her Sunday paper. Here I should explain that we both have the hobbies of much older women: sewing, knitting dog sweaters, gardening, buying sensible shoes, eating early dinners at chain restaurants.

I don’t know why we’re so fascinated with chain restaurants. Perhaps because we’re both from Portland, and Portland has a lot of pho places, but not many Applebees? It’s a puzzler. In any case, I will ALWAYS go with you to a chain restaurant. I’m always mildly (or severely, in the case of Red Lobster) disappointed in the food, but I will ALWAYS GO WITH YOU, and then annoy everyone by going “Oh man, she’s wearing FLAIR, this is great…”

NAOMI
(holding up an ad insert)
Look, CRUNCHY CHICKEN CHIPOTLE CRUNCHERS are on special at Chili’s.

ELANA
I don’t believe you. That can’t be the real name.

NAOMI
Oh, I think it can.

ELANA
(scanning ad insert in growing amazement)
Oh, wow. And if we get one of the SIZZLIN’ SUMMER AT CHILI’S SLAMMIN’ PLATTERS, we get a free LUSCIOUS LAYERS DESSERT.

NAOMI
What’s that?

ELANA
I don’t know, but it comes in layers. LAYERS, Naomi!

NAOMI
We should probably go and buy some of these things.

ELANA
I endorse your plan as stated.

When we got to the Chili’s in Westwood, it was closed. The girl claimed that they were “out of hot water”, but I think we all know that they were sitting in the back, playing poker, enjoying round after round of CRUNCHY CHICKEN CRUNCHERS.

We went to Acapulco instead.

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3 Responses to “When we make it, I’m going shopping at AEROSOLES.”

  1. Maggie Says:

    You guys are from Portland? I taught at Willamette in Salem for three years! Obviously it is DESTINY.

    In addition: I will also always go with you to a chain restaurant for an early dinner, especially if they serve breakfast all day; I knit things constantly, while wearing sensible shoes; I sew quilts and dresses and baby garments for my niece; and I garden when I have a garden. Right now my vines are growing roots into my books. For REAL.

    DESTINY!

  2. Elana Frink Says:

    You like BREAKFAST FOODS? You’re right, this is obviously a sign of some kind! We LOVE breakfast foods! Particularly when they’re from cheesy places!

  3. cynthiablue Says:

    That is a great sweater! I want to knit my dog a sweater… haven’t gotten started yet.


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