Oh man, I feel so old!

September 8, 2007

My upstairs neighbors are having a party. Normally, when people here have parties, if they just keep to the front of the house, it’s fine! You can just go into your bedroom and fall asleep early like the OLD AND BORING PERSON YOU APPARENTLY ARE.

But there were these three dudes on the back stairs. And I’m trying to finish a new draft of my UNTITLED APOCALYPTIC ROMANTIC DRAMA. (No, really, this is something I’m voluntarily writing. I KNOW.)

And the dudes were having conversations about the following (their voices were clear and bell-like):

*Is it a dealbreaker if a hot girl you’re seriously interested in can’t spell?
*What if you’re just interested in Doing It with her a lot?
*That’s probably okay. All in favor? Motion carried.
*Oh man, I’m so wasted.
*Totally.

So eventually I went out and said: “Hey you guys? Would you mind going to the front steps? Our bedrooms are in the back, so…”

And the ringleader dude said “Oh man! We’re totally sorry. Are we bothering you?”

“…well. You know. Our bedrooms are back here. So.”

“Yeah… So you wanna smoke a bowl or something?”

…?

KIDS TODAY.

Also, earlier, Naomi and I saw 3:10 To Yuma (A++, WOULD GIGGLE NERVOUSLY AT RUSSELL CROWE’S VIOLENT MANLINESS AGAIN.) and then ate pho.

I know it seems like all we do is eat food and watch movies, but sometimes we do other things, like go to bookstores! And eat food. Or get coffee! And talk about food we could maybe eat later. Etc.

(Sigh! Now there are NEW dudes on the stairs. These ones are all SENSITIVE. The one just said to the other “I’m all fuckin’ pensive, dude.”)

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One Response to “Oh man, I feel so old!”

  1. Senator Whoopass Says:

    My friend Joe sliced a healthy chunk of his leg open moving props on a stage. Half way to the hospital, with blood still gushing forth from Joe’s gaping wound, the guy driving him pulled off the road and calmly asked, “So, uh, you want to smoke a bowl?”


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