Really, who doesn’t like Susan Sarandon?

September 13, 2007

I have a Tivo, so I almost never watch commercials. Unless they look particularly awesome (the one where the guy is dressed as a guy from AC/DC – I don’t remember what they’re selling, WITNESS THE EFFECTIVENESS OF TRADITIONAL MARKETING) or cheesy/stirring (the Marines), in which case I will rewind and watch them several times and tell people about them: “So I just saw this totally rad commercial. Yeah, it’s about a Marine. I dunno, he jumps out of a plane and bonds with his friends in various harsh landscapes. It’s pretty cool. You should check it out.”

My current favorite commercial is the one for Mr. Woodcock, the movie about how Billy Bob Thornton marries Susan Sarandon and it turns out he and his new stepson go WAY BACK… all the way to gym class. Cue jokes about the pain and humiliation implicit in dodgeball.

I keep trying to tell people about the joke where Seann William Scott appears to be challenging Billy Bob to a duel of some kind (I assume hotdog-eating-related, as they’re both strapping on bibs) and Billy Bob goes “OH YEAH? You must like getting spanked… it runs in your family.”

Only, every time I try to share this joke with the world, I get it wrong. So instead of managing to explain that Billy Bob is freaking Seann William out by implying that his mom likes, you know… a firm hand, I make it sound like he’s threatening to send his stepson out back for a switch, and then people make this face, and then I realize that they just rewrote the move in their heads as a serious child abuse drama, and I go “No, no, see–” but it’s too late.

It’s very upsetting! Possibly this is a clue as to why I am still not a highly-paid comedy writer, though. Hmmm.


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