Married people

September 21, 2007

Oh man! I’m sorry about the absence. I would say something like “We couldn’t blog the daily minutiae of our lives because we were too busy picking out furniture for our brand-new offices” but it would be, technically, a LIE.

(Also, not-technically.)

Last weekend Naomi and I went to some mall in Torrance (“SoCal’s Regional Chain Restaurant Capital”). We did two things:

1) Eat at a chain restaurant
2) Shop at the Naturalizer store

Man, we’re such giant nerds. It’s terrible.

Neither of these experiences were as satisfying as you might think. We got so overwhelmed by the chain restaurant options (“What about LUCY’S SMOKE SHACK STOCKPOTTE? Is that a chain?”) that we went to Hometown Buffet.

Yes.

At Hometown Buffet, we had a mild married-person argument. (Naomi and I aren’t married, but if you are, or know any married people, you will recognize the following.)

NAOMI
Okay, do you want to eat here?

ELANA
I don’t know.

NAOMI
Well, we can go somewhere else. Like PF Chang’s.

ELANA
I don’t know. I’m too hungry–

NAOMI
Anything you want is fine.

ELANA
What if the food here isn’t delicious?

NAOMI

ELANA
I’m just saying.

NAOMI
DO YOU WANT TO EAT HERE OR NOT.

ELANA
Are you cranky?

NAOMI
NO.

(We actually had a very good time.)

Some things I have been thinking about recently include:

1) Do you think Matthew McConaughey is ever like “Everyone just thinks I’m a charming rogue… so I have to live up to that. But sometimes I feel like people don’t care that I have a mind— a whole inner life, you know? I’m really interested in Edith Wharton. And that’s just for instance!”

?

No?

2) Earlier this morning, a lady executive (the one I call Cheri Oteri) stormed by, saying: “I NEED BUTTER. Does anyone have any butter? OH GOD.”

I don’t know why.

3) A few weeks ago, Naomi and I were going to this party in Venice, and we saw this car with a ton of humorless bumperstickers of the “ANOTHER FAMILY FOR PEACE”, “STOP THIS ENDLESS WAR”, “MEAT=MURDER” type. And we decided that the greatest thing ever would be if that person also had a “HONK IF YOU’RE HORNY” sticker, just to lighten things up.

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