“Yeah, I’m talking about you guy, guy in the black Lexus.”

October 31, 2007

Do you ever wish there were a website where you could look up your neighborhood and find out if any irritating people live nearby?

My friend, this is your lucky day.

In my neighborhood, people have gotten these reviews:

“4AM guitar playing, naked cooking (“fuck off its our lifestyle!”), non working attorney and his dopey girlfriend. these people are the worst. nobody likes them and they don’t care.”

“Late night parties, loud sex, drunk, drunk, drunk.”

“These people leave the gate unlocked all the time so just anyone can come through and steal my bike.
Also, they have the loudest, most grating voices ever.
Additionally, The mother and son have some unnatural creepy relationship going on. Sometimes you can just tell.”

“Neighbors who live in the vicinity of this site will enjoy weekly shouting matches about the state of the bushes and different things encroaching into each others property line. These battles may or may not involve a garden hose.”

“This jerks playing music until 6 in the morning while his skanky looking gf has ear shattering orgasms. Yeah, I’m talking about you guy, guy in the black Lexus”

“LOUD late at night
the people in #1 are loud late into the night. constantly blasting music and trying to sing along (horribly, i might add). Total disrespect for the other tenants and neighbors. Blasting music up until 1am on a weeknight! visitors constantly blocking the driveway, park in the street why don’t you!”

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