I don’t know, what does a beard sound like?

November 27, 2007

I have this problem where I listen to a lot of music but almost never read any music journalism, so I never know what’s going on with anything.

CASE STUDY 1: Last year I stumbled on this band Television. I thought they were really great! They had this fantastic retro-pastiche punky sound. I thought. I happened to be talking about them to my friend R. one day. “Have you heard of this band Televsion?” I said. “They’re really great. They sound like a band from the 70s, but in this totally cool way.”

“Hmmm,” R. said. “Do you maybe mean Television, a band that was big in the actual 70s?

(That’s exactly what I meant.)

CASE STUDY 2: I like to talk to my dad about music. He’s pretty cool. I’ll say things like “Hey, do you know about this outfit Fairport… something, Fairport Fairgrounds, something like that?” and my dad will say “Do you perhaps mean Fairport Convention?” and I’ll say “YES! Fairport Convention!” and he’ll say “You realize that this is a band that’s older than you are.”

And I’ll say “…well, no, I didn’t. Actually.”

And he’ll say “What is wrong with you.”

CASE STUDY 3: Recently I saw a picture of a man with a really fine beard. I happen to like men with beards. I think they’re, I don’t know, fetching. Anyway, I was admiring this picture of a guy with a beard, drinking a cup of coffee (the guy, not the beard. It wasn’t a sentient beard or anything.) and then I turned to my friend and said “Who do you think this guy is?” and she said “…that’s Dan Bejar.”


And she said: “Seriously, who is Dan Bejar? He’s in Destroyer. He’s in the New Pornographers! You love those bands! How don’t you know this?”

“Someone in Destroyer has a beard? They don’t have a very beardy sound, do they?”

And my friend, being polite and kind, looked at me like I was an idiot, but said nothing.



One Response to “I don’t know, what does a beard sound like?”

  1. Josh Says:

    Unless I actually own the album–or now, have downloaded the song–I never know names of bands or song titles or anything like that. In fact, sometimes even when I DO own the music I don’t know.

    It’s a gift.

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