Lightbulbs.

January 17, 2008

I have many brilliant ideas.

Well. I guess, to be ACCURATE (pfffft) I should say that I have many ideas that I briefly, for about three minutes, find pretty funny, and then later I tell other people about them and they go:

“…”

Recently, FOR INSTANCE, I tried to convince Naomi that what we should do was have a BEARD BLOG.

BEARDSIGHTINGS.BLOGSPOT.COM or something. And it would be all like The Sartorialist except instead of pictures of people in interesting outfits it would be pictures of (mostly, one assumes) men with beards. And then you could say “What inspires your beard?” and they would say “Sometimes I think about Steinbeck.” and you would say “Ah… interesting.” and they would nod, seriously.

OR. You could ask about beard maintenance. Some men with beards probably have a whole regimen. Involving botanical treatments. And COMBS.

(As an aside, there was a picketer fighting the power outside the studio recently, and he had a pretty awesome mustache. I had a delightful fantasy where he was standing around twirling his moustachios and going “MWAH HA HA!” to freak people out, but really he was just marching. Also, I stupidly told the person next to me about my fantasy, and she made the face people make not infrequently in my direction, the “Jesus! You’re retarded.” face.)

Anyway, when I told Naomi this, she said: “…” and then we talked about various subsets of beards, and how it would be very important to our imaginary blog to differentiate between “The Prospector” and “The Edwardian Granddad” and “The Lazy Guy”. Unfortunately, Naomi felt fairly strongly that it would be embarrassing to go up to a man with a beard and “take his picture for your beard blog”.

Other “great” (horrible) ideas I have had recently:

*A musical about my friend Kinan. It would contain extremely dramatic songs about things like “Did I Forget To Buy Coffee? Did I? Darn!” or “These Shoes, They Are Kind Of Uncomfortable”.

*A sitcom set at Medieval Times.

*Owning a honey badger as a pet. He could live in my yard! I could feed him tuna sandwiches. He’d look like this: The badge And pound for pound, honey badgers are the most fearless animal going. So that’s pretty cool.

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One Response to “Lightbulbs.”

  1. Jenny Says:

    Such a good idea!

    Uncle D decided he wanted to a beard just like Lenin’s. After a google image search, the clippers and voila…could it be…yes, Lenin’s lost brother, derfwad. Uncle D needs more facial hair photos to inspire his next creation.


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