February 14, 2008
My co-worker is wearing a sweater-vest. Even though I really like sweater-vests, and even though he’s a very handsome young man, I keep thinking of that Demetri Martin joke – “Vests protect you from things. Bulletproof vests protect you from bullets. Sweater-vests protect you from pretty girls.” and having to turn away and bite my lip. DAMN YOU DEMETRI MARTIN.
I also like his joke that’s a graph plotting out the relationship between “How cute a girl is” and “How long he is willing to listen to her talk about how intuitive her cat is”. I like to relay that one to people who talk about their cats a lot and then watch as they explain that that’s pretty funny, but their cat really is deeply intuitive. And working on a novel in his spare time.
Here is a writing thing: I am the lousiest at coming up with character names. Naomi and I liked to, uh, cast the part in our head and then name the character after the actor. But that only works for a while, and then people start going “Gee, all the male characters in your script are named Owen. Have you noticed this?”
I am outlining a heist movie (HEIST MOVIES ARE THE BEST. There are almost no heists in real life, and even if there were I’d be way too worried and judgmental (“Okay, so the bank is insured! Who do you think ends up paying for that insurance with ridiculous ATM fees? JOE AVERAGE, THAT’S WHO!”) to participate, so these movies really feed a need in my soul.) and the characters are changing names every five minutes. Eventually they’ll settle down, but for right now it’s kind of a mess. And I’m not allowed to name any more characters John. I’ve had to issue myself a moratorium.