We might be vanilla but our Labs are chocolate

May 16, 2008

Naomi made me watch… OKAY. This is going to make me sound like I shill part-time for Big Malt Liquor. But, see, Naomi made me watch this music video for Smirnoff Raw Tea (??? I don’t know, it’s like iced tea with malt liquor..?)

And it was so hilarious I now feel kind of nauseous from laughing and gasping. Also, I really, really, really want to get together with the people who wrote these lyrics. Because I would like them so much, is why.

(I am still not going to buy your boozed-up tea in a can, though. Also, you should know that my one-person focus group has determined that “SMIRNOFF RAW TEA” is the worst name for any product, ever.)

You must watch both the East Coast and West Coast versions. Um, I was going to quote some of the more awesome lines, but I think you should just watch the whole thing.

(But not if you are the kind of person who would be offended by jokes about WASPs driving Saabs or lame Hollywood people with highlights and a pilot deal.)

The one thing that freaks me out about these videos is that the actors in the West Coast clip are basically… making fun of themselves. You know? It’s like one of those bizarre INFINITE CAT things, where they’re LA actors with highlights and Mystic Tans playing LA actors with highlights and Mystic Tans in a way that makes fun of LA actors with highlights and Mystic Tans, but how could you even BE an LA actor with highlights and a Mystic Tan if you had a sense of humor about LA actors with highlights and a Mystic Tan?

THAT IS WHAT I AM SAYING.

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