Insurgency; Iron Man
May 29, 2008
“If you’re serious about insurgency…”
There are certain phrases that make me think that whatever follows is going to be a joke. One of these phrases is “If you’re serious about X…”. (See: this comic about globes I have linked to previously.)
It just primes my brain to be ready for HILARIOUSNESS. And then I get really perturbed when no hilariousness follows, like I just can’t quite believe it.
For instance: recently I was reading something about insurgency and counterterrorism, etc. And the person was arguing a point from the perspective of an insurgent, and he said “If you’re serious about insurgency…” and I started laughing, because OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING AWESOME WAS ABOUT TO HAPPEN, like a one-man skit about surly teen insurgents!
But nothing awesome happened. He just talked about improvised explosives for a while.
Is that terrible? Am I a bad person? Sometimes when I’ve been hanging out with a particular person (Naomi) too often, I can’t tell if my sense of humor is wrong or not. Sigh.
(Come on, “If you’re serious about insurgency”? NOTHING? Not even in the insurgent’s dad lecturing him about how he spent ALL THAT MONEY sending him to med school, and now he wants to be an INSURGENT, this is just like that time he was going to be in a ROCK BAND, and his dad bought him an amp and EVERYTHING–)
Also! Iron Man, which I saw a while ago.
You know what my favorite part of Iron Man was? That it opened in a Humvee in Afghanistan, set to Back in Black, and then there was an explosion. RIGHT AWAY! Those are all things I love!
(Not AC/DC specifically. You know what I mean.)
Also! Iron Man featured an INTREPID ASSISTANT. I loved that. I would really love it if there were a show that was about an assistant, and it was kind of pulp-noir (but in a cheerful way) and the assistant solved mysteries! And some of them were pretty serious, like “OH NO, WE MISPLACED A LARGE NUMBER OF MISSILES!” but some of them were like “Someone around town is buying up all available copies of MAXIM MAGAZINE, what does it mean???” and just silly.
The assistant’s boss should be some kind of big-deal criminal attorney. And he would never really notice that his assistant was solving these crimes–
Or! Like, if the boss were some kind of dissolute nobleman who drank a lot of martinis (and it would of course have to be set in the 20s or the 30s) and he had a social secretary who traveled around the world with him. And SECRETLY, the bossguy was a JEWEL THIEF and equally secretly, the secretary was a sleuth! And they were locked in an eternal game of cat and mouse, but neither of them realized!
That would be awesome. Also, I would like it if the dissolute nobleman traveled with some dogs. The secretary would often find herself standing around in hotel lobbies, controlling a brace of Irish wolfhounds or something. (They could help her solve crimes!)