I am such a fruitbasket.
I finished a draft of something recently, and it went like this:
3:47 PM – TYPE “FADE OUT”
3:48 PM – WEIGHT LIFTED, TAKE FULL BREATH FOR FIRST TIME IN DAYS
3:49-3:56 PM – FEEL PRETTY GOOD ABOUT LIFE
3:57 PM – DREAD SETTLES BACK IN.
Isn’t that ridiculous? I felt okay for literally ten minutes before resuming a state of low-grade panic. Such nonsense.
Similarly, I made Naomi read my draft, and I have been having SO MUCH angst about it that I guess I was expecting a lot of criticism and “Wow, this is so terrible, did you have your DOG write this? And you don’t even HAVE A DOG!” and instead she said “I think this is all kinds of fine! I don’t actually have any changes. Were you expecting changes? You have a typo on page 26.”
It was a weird let-down!
And then I was angsting endlessly to poor Friend Kinan about this issue, and she politely reminded me that when I was writing my apocalypse spec, I was also full of angst. And what’s extra lame is that I had forgotten this entirely! Or mis-remembered it. Because I have actually been thinking a lot about how when I wrote my apocalypse spec, I was so cheerful and purposeful and confident, and feeling guilty that I didn’t feel that way now, and Kinan was all “…no. Not really. You were totally crazy and full of angst. I can show you the emails.”
Isn’t that odd? I AM SO WEIRD. I’m so weird that I totally forget how weird I am as soon as the moment passes.
Kinan suggested a sign that read RELAX! YOU ARE ALWAYS PANICKING. Which seems like it wouldn’t be reassuring, but… actually, sounds like a pretty great idea.
Further! I need to tell you about rabbits.
So I was reading this website about rabbit-human communication, and I’m not ashamed to say that I read it BACK TO FRONT.
So I’m a little ashamed. But I feel certain that you will understand when you see that it contains glorious statements such as the following:
You’ve probably heard that Eskimos have many words for different types of snow, it being so important to their daily lives. Well, rabbits have many expressions that mean, “You’ve offended me,” which indicates how important respect and insults are to rabbits. Disagreements don’t usually require a brawl, but they do typically require that someone get insulted and someone apologize. Since the apology usually just requires some forehead stroking, and maybe a conciliatory raisin, it’s worth trying to get back on your bunny’s good side. If the rabbit is really pissed off, though, you may have to just suffer the humiliation of being shunned. After a while, you’ll be allowed to apologize. An offended rabbit who is not apologized to can hold a grudge or maintain a sulk for many, many days.
-From the R-E-S-P-E-C-T is What My Bun Demands of Me section
Isn’t that wondrous? I warn you that if you click on those links you’ll find yourself reading the entire website, so keep that in mind if you have a lot of work you need to get done later.