Generation Kill, mustaches.

July 15, 2008

1) I am always amazed by how many writers have blogs wherein they talk smack about other writers. Like, man! Don’t you know that writers are crazy and sit at home and vanity-google themselves?!? My friend J. has this really amazing/awful story about how she watched this really terrible movie on cable and then blogged about it and then got angry letters from the writer. Eek! Awkward.

2) Also, speaking of my friend J., we’ve been coming up with some rather good(/stupid) skit ideas. One of them is BITTER FAILED MEDIEVAL ENTREPRENEUR. He’s all “One time, I spilled some boiling oil, and it hurt like a mother. So then I thought, HEY, THIS COULD BE THE NEXT BIG THING IN BATTLEMENT DEFENSE! But then I didn’t do anything with it. Flash forward five years, the Saracens are attacking, I’m wondering why it smells like french fries… THANKS A LOT.” and “Flaming arrows?!? That was MY IDEA! Ask anybody in the merchant quarter!”

Another is this guy who’s a big movie nerd and who’s obsessed with creating tableaux from famous film scenes. But he’s not very good at it and also his selected scenes are too obscure, so instead of people going “DANIEL PLAINVIEW? Are you going to drink my milkshake? HA HA HA.” they just go “…why are you standing like that? What’s with the hat? What is your problem?”

3) Are you watching Generation Kill? Because I’m watching Generation Kill. So far there has only been one episode, but it was very excellent! I think my favorite part was when the chief enlisted dude was grouchy about peoples’ mustaches and he told the guy to POLICE HIS MUSTACHE HAIRS! and he was VERY. ANGRY. about it.

PS, I googled “POLICE YOUR MUSTACHE HAIRS” to be sure I was getting the quote right, and these were the top hits:

HIT #1: Archive of Customer Praise for Oregon Wild Hair Moustache Wax. Here is a quote:

LOVE YOUR WAX. Been using it religiously for 2 years. Am a NYC Police Officer assigned to Special Weapons + Tactics. You can not believe the amount of daily complements on my moustache, it’s curl, shape, style and inquiries due to your amazing wax!!

Yes, you’re right, I CANNOT BELIEVE that you get more than one compliment per day on your mustache, Mr. SWAT Officer. Call me Skeptical Sally.

HIT #2: Never trust a cop without a mustache!. This is a post on a blog about “Hott Cops™ Dedicated to the Hott Men in Blue….and Black and Brown (and Green!) every where. The finest of our finest!”

HIT #3: Some news story about this high school kid who was told to shave his peach fuzz and how the Mustache Institute got involved.

HIT #4: 2004 Asian Mustache Olympics. Excellent.

MAN! That was, accidentally, a really entertaining google search. I love it when that happens.


2 Responses to “Generation Kill, mustaches.”

  1. Anon Says:

    “…..POLICE THAT Moo-Stache!!! You all startin ta look like Elvises!….” Best qoute ever!!

  2. Sam Damewood Says:

    I have a fine ‘stache, do use “Oregon Wild Hair” moustache wax and get many compliments about it
    daily. A good ‘stache is a real fashion statement and speaks to the character of it’s owner. It sets you apart from the common folk who are happy to ride the train/bus and have nothing to obviously distinguish them from the crowd.


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