An extreme sport you didn’t know about.

August 19, 2008

Naomi is talking about words, and then I just read this Dress a Day post where a dress is described as “cinching at the empire”. Meaning, of course, that it’s an empire-waisted dress (for the dudes reading this, those dresses that have the “waist” just under the bosoms), but apparently there’s a shift happening where people are starting to believe that “empire” is a polite word for “the area right under your boobs”.

Isn’t that strange? Until now, the only bizarre thing I’d ever heard people say about empire-waisted dresses was when dim types pronounce it “ehm-PEER”, like it’s French. (OKAY YES, empire IS a word in French, but– NO. NO. It’s EMPIRE, like the NAPOLEONIC EMPIRE TO WHICH IT REFERS WHEN LADIES DRESSED LIKE THIS BECAUSE EVERYONE WAS GOING THROUGH A CLASSICAL-REVIVAL OBSESSION PHASE AND WANTED TO LOOK LIKE THEY WERE GREEK.)

Of course, I should probably stop frowning at this as I only very recently discovered that primer, in the sense of a basic text on a subject, is pronounced “primmer”. HA HA HA. Um. In my defense I mostly grew up in foreign lands, and had never heard anyone say it.

YES OKAY I AM A FOOL.

Also, so my one roommate is super sweet but sometimes says things that are pretty perplexing and hilarious. Tonight she was watching the Olympics, and water polo was on. And I said:

“That is a really ridiculous-looking sport.”

And she said: “Actually, it’s extremely dangerous.”

And I said: “…what?”

And she said: “They could DROWN.”

I looked at her for a moment. “Are you being funny?”

“No.”

“They could drown.”

“Yes. I mean, look at it! They’re playing in water that’s like seven feet deep.”

And I said: “But– but it’s a pool. And these are athletes, not toddlers. And it’s not like they’re in the middle of the ocean. And. I just don’t think you’re right about this.”

And she gave me a very skeptical “YOU ARE WRONG BUT I’M GOING TO LET YOU LIVE WITH YOUR DELUSIONS” look and that was that.

So there you go, water polo! One of the world’s most dangerous sports. Apparently.

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One Response to “An extreme sport you didn’t know about.”

  1. Annie Says:

    I’m going to adopt that bastardization of the word empire.

    “Ow. You elbowed me in the empire!”


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