Five for Friday

September 12, 2008

1. (Only comprehensible to fellow assistants and former fellow assistants.) Yesterday someone sent an email to one of my tracking groups:

Hi all,

If anyone has any information on how to roll calls. Please forward
asap. I know it has something to do with getting two people on the
line at one time, just not quite sure how to do it. I need it by
tomorrow. Thank you

I have had like five scandalized conversations about this email since then. I just ran into a friend who’s on that same group, and she said “Did you see that email–” and I said “ABOUT ROLLING CALLS?!?” and then we were appalled for a few minutes. She confessed that she had sent a “Please! Are you serious?” email, which sounds kind of mean, but you know– I had to really meditate on the Dalai Lama’s endless compassion to avoid doing just such a thing myself.

2. This GET YOUR WAR ON video. I sort of object to the popular notion that GET YOUR WAR ON is anti-anything. I just think it’s funny. “Whoa, whoa, whoa! McCain was a POW?!? I never knew that. I guess he’s reluctant to discuss it.”

I also really like this one, about the Surge. “What was the surge supposed to do?”

“…to– to get our troops surging. Like never before!”

PS also, is it weird if I have a slight crush on Accounts Payable Guy? YES? OKAY FINE, you’re just saying that because he’s an imaginary animated character, whatever.

3. So last night I left the building and this show was shooting outside AND I WALKED OUT OF THE BUILDING AND INTO THEIR SHOT. Now, you might think things like “Gee, I wonder why they didn’t bother to post a PA at that door!” but I prefer to think of it as evidence that I have some kind of unique skill for INTERRUPTING.

4. Here is an actual line from an email I sent to Manager-Guy yesterday when I was panicking: maybe I’m just not good enough to do this! Maybe I should go live in Vermont and grow heritage-breed turkeys and write a novel that I’ll never finish or show to anyone!


This is where my service dog and/or helper monkey would come in handy yet again.

“Woof! Woof!”

“What’s that, boy? Timmy’s stuck in a well?”


“…oh. You think I should shut up before I say something lame.”

5. Universal comedy flowchart. I particularly enjoyed the “White people can’t dance!”/”But they try!”/”Graduate school” area.


One Response to “Five for Friday”

  1. betsy Says:

    re: #1. i know. I KNOW. i saw that too.

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