The long weekend
September 29, 2008
My best friend/heterosexual life partner Naomi was in town this weekend. We had many excellent adventures (mostly related to food or dogs):
MOVIES: We went to see Eagle Eye (have you ever wondered what it would be like to slide around in the baggage-moving slide chute things at the airport? THIS IS THE MOVIE FOR YOU.) and Appaloosa (…dear Viggo Mortensen, maybe you could wear looser pants in your next role. I’m not trying to tell you what to do, but that looked chafey. Also whenever your pants area was in the middle of the screen I had to look awkwardly off to the corner of the frame.)
FACTOIDS: At dinner last night I learned that the American interstate system was developed so that troops could be moved easily from one state to another in case of an invasion! I HAD NEVER HEARD OF THIS! AND I LOVE IT! People were taken aback that I didn’t know about it (“YOU didn’t know that? I’m so surprised! You seem like the sort of person who would own books about that or something.”) which made me worry that… you know how you have a friend who’s always talking about golf, he’s just been playing so much golf, it’s so totally sweet…? I am now worried that I’m your friend who’s always droning on about defense-related things in a supremely dull way. OH GOD.
HUGGING: I am not a hugger*. Neither is Naomi. Neither is my friend Steve. HOWEVER, Steve’s friend Keith is totally a hugger. So whenever I say goodbye to them, Steve and I give each other these tense, awkward looks and then we make tense, awkward jokes about how Keith is a hugger but Steve and I are not, and then we laugh in a tense, awkward way. Every time. Sometimes we shake hands.
FOOD: Naomi and I went to a dinner last night, but we were so hungry that we decided to have a cocktail and an appetizer and, you know, PRE-EAT. Only we couldn’t find anything we liked near the restaurant, so then we thought that we’d just go to the restaurant and sit at the bar. But then when we got there, we realized that they didn’t have a bar. So we ended up sitting at the table and eating appetizers and then hurriedly hiding the evidence of our pre-eating when the other people showed up. “Quick! Brush the crumbs away! DO IT! Hey guys… no, no, we just got here.”
DOGS: My friend Julie lives in the best, most dog-heavy neighborhood, and when we hang out on her stoop there’s a constant parade of canines to and fro. Notable among them is a Boston Terrier who I describe as SCANNER DOG (he always looks to me like a dog version of a Terminator, with the giant eyes and the intent stare), but who Keith described as “That dog always looks like he just did an eight ball”.
Something else that’s exciting is that it just rained a little bit! I love rain. It’s in my PacNo DNA. In an idealized version of my life I would have, like, a BRACE of black labs (per my uncle Dean, “The official dog of Portland”) and some excellent floral rain boots and a yellow slicker and I would be walking around outside with a toddler (not mine. It should belong to someone else so I can feed it sugary foods and then send it home.) who likes to stomp in puddles.
*I mean, I of course hug my mom! And my tall baby brother, even though he’s too old and cool for hugging now and is all “Hey, hey. Watch the hair.” I’m just not a… casual, LA hugger, where you’re supposed to hug people you met NINE MINUTES AGO.