Wherein I join a mob.

October 5, 2008

I had an excellent adventure last night.

Following an evening based on food and movies, I was standing around outside Julie’s house with her neighbor Steve and his girlfriend when suddenly we heard a loud CLAPPSDLKSDFHGHSDKLSDK.

“My God,” the adults said. “Somebody hit a car!”

“I think it was, like, somebody slamming a dumpster lid,” I said, confidently.

And then there was a squeal of tires and a second crash. Hmmmm. Naturally, being totally nosy, we all walked down to see what was going on. What was going on was that someone had hit a parked car and kept going, and hit another parked car, and kept going.

Many locals had come out of their apartments and were milling around. Mind you, this was at 2:30 AM and about NINE SECONDS post-crash. And then three tow trucks showed up, which launched a spirited diatribe by Steve on the subject of how tow truck drivers were more organized and responsive than actual cops. There was also a vague rumor that some intrepid citizen had come running out of his house and had taken off on his motorcycle in HOT PURSUIT.

And then a man in a small white pickup truck pulled up and said “The driver went off that way!” and some random white guy stepped out of the crowd and asked if he could catch a ride, and OFF THEY WENT.

And THEN the rest of us FORMED A MOB and followed them.

YES. AN ACTUAL MOB. People had dogs on leashes and cups of tea and were wearing slippers, but by God, we were going to see JUSTICE done. Also there were a number of drunk young men in the mob, so for the first several blocks there was quite a bit of grandstanding about how they were going to kick the asses of any hit-and-run drivers. Julie proposed that, being a Southern California mob, we just lecture the offender sternly. “Hey, man… that’s not cool.”

The mob lasted in this format for about four blocks. I was walking next to a drunk kid in a USC shirt when his cell rang.

“Hey bro,” he said. “Yeah, I can’t really talk right now… I’m in a mob. Okay, catch you later.”

(Then he turned back.)

The mob began to lose members at about this time, and when the much-diminished group took a wrong turn on Vista (the rumored destination of the driver), instead of seeing an exciting CITIZEN’S ARREST, all we saw was two carloads of middle-aged Chinese people standing around swapping sixpacks of Crystal Geyser from one car to another. They were quite surprised to turn around and see a horde of vigilantes.

By then we were pretty bored with this whole mob thing, so we walked back to the scene of the crime. One of the tow truck drivers informed us that the driver had been caught a few blocks away (NORTH on Vista, not SOUTH. Darn.) and was being arrested. We were all pretty sad that we’d missed it, but glad to have participated in a once-in-a-lifetime mob event.

So! All in all I thought it was a pretty good evening.

(Although I am now sort of mystified that mobs ever get anything accomplished, because ours really lost steam/motivation/membership after four blocks and would definitely not have been able to overrun an embassy or lynch a horse thief or ANYTHING.)

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One Response to “Wherein I join a mob.”

  1. Maggie Says:

    That is the beginning of a movie. Write! Write! Write!


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