October 8, 2008

1) So there’s this hilarious blog, (fake) UTA Job List. It contains FAKE job postings like this:

4th Assistant
Director of Development seeks 4th Assistant. Previous 4th Assistant took 2nd Assistant position elsewhere. Duties include assisting 3rd Assistant with 1st Assistant’s personal errands and filling in for 3rd Assistant when 3rd Assistant substitutes for 2nd Assistant if 2nd Assistant is out sick or shadowing 1st Assistant, lunch pick-ups for 1st-3rd Assistants and light filing. Benefits after 3 months. Excellent opportunity for someone looking to become a 3rd assistant. 10/7

Hilarious! Imagine my dismay when I realized that people all over the internet (okay okay, in like two places) were going “WHAT? WHO NEEDS FOUR ASSISTANTS IN THIS ECONOMY? RIDICULOUS!”

Sigh! One of life’s biggest disappointments is when you’re being funny and people think you’re totally for real.

2) People apparently do not know what “Steady hand at the tiller” means.

Guys. Come on. Really? YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT A TILLER IS? Our country is going to get overrun by a bunch of pirates and we’ll be defenseless.

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