April 6, 2009
This weekend I really wanted to see FAST & FURIOUS, but it was sold out. So I saw ADVENTURELAND instead. And I didn’t really want to see ADVENTURELAND, I thought it was going to be another one of those dull coming-of-age movies where “coming of age” always ends up meaning “A nerd gets laid by a really hot girl who has no real personality and who previously dated a fascist football jock, thus validating the nerd’s masculinity and proving once and for all that he is BETTER THAN THE FOOTBALL GUYS.”
But it wasn’t. It was funny and sharp and sweet and 100% spot-on accurate about that weird time when you’re out of school but not really an adult yet, and I loved it and I don’t understand why it didn’t make any money. COME ON PEOPLE.
(Also good about it was that the girls in the movie are real people, complex and sometimes unpleasant. In case you are one of the few people who cares about such things. But don’t worry, it wasn’t some kind of educational film or anything. It also contained lots of crotch-punching jokes.)
ADVENTURELAND is a story about growing up: by the end of the movie, the main character has left childish things behind and started to turn himself into a man. I know that all coming-of-age movies claim to do this, but that’s HORSEFEATHERS. Most of them are actually stories about how it’s totally cool for you to remain a little kid forever. (And about how cheerleaders definitely want to bone you.)
However, I still really want to see FAST & FURIOUS, because: EXPLOSIONS (almost certainly), VIN DIESEL (definitely), VIN DIESEL FLEXING THREATENINGLY AT SOMEONE (how could that not happen, come on), etc etc.
Here is a picture of Vin Diesel with some dogs! I thought I would add a hilarious Vin Diesel picture to the end of this post, but then I looked for such a thing and realized that Vin Diesel is INCAPABLE of taking a picture with his shirt on. Which alarmed me, because I am a Victorian Lady.
So. This is not hilarious, but does have DOGS:
And here is one that IS hilarious: a picture of Vin Diesel as Mona Lisa. V. good.