Epic religious mystery
April 9, 2009
Over at the Cake Wrecks blog, there’s a post about Easter (or possibly Passover) lamb cakes that are smoking cigarettes. (I mean, the lambs are obviously not LITERALLY smoking cigarettes, on account of how they’re made of CAKE. But they have a Parliament jammed in their little cake faces.)
Nobody knows the deal with the smoking-lamb cakes. I just read all 150 comments to see if anyone had The Answer. Instead, there were several main (misguided) theories:
1) This is the Passover lamb, whose blood was used to daub the thresholds of the Jews. The “cigarette” is actually a brush. And apparently he’s using his own blood.
Why this seems wrong: I’m pretty sure that cake isn’t kosher for Passover. Also, the “cigarette” is actually a CIGARETTE. AN ACTUAL PARLIAMENT.
2) The “cigarette” is actually a scroll and this is referencing the whole scroll-and-lamb bit from Revelation.
Why this seems wrong: The “cigarette” IS A CIGARETTE, PEOPLE. And the end is on fire. And this is an ordinary cake lamb, and I feel like the lamb from Revelation has like SEVEN EYES AND SEVEN HORNS (which would of course make a fairly awesome cake.)
3) Jesus Christ is the Lamb of God who was sacrificed for mankind’s sins, and the cigarette is like when you get to light up before the firing squad.
Why this seems wrong: “Smoke ’em if you’ve got ’em”-style theology unconfirmed by experts in the field.
4) Sometimes people give up smoking for Lent, so Easter is like the signal to light up.
Why this seems wrong: On the one hand, I didn’t realize that Easter was such a jokey holiday. But on the other hand, the lambs are smoking Parliaments, the official cigarette of tacky people and ironic hipsters, so this just might fit.