Epic religious mystery

April 9, 2009

Over at the Cake Wrecks blog, there’s a post about Easter (or possibly Passover) lamb cakes that are smoking cigarettes. (I mean, the lambs are obviously not LITERALLY smoking cigarettes, on account of how they’re made of CAKE. But they have a Parliament jammed in their little cake faces.)

Nobody knows the deal with the smoking-lamb cakes. I just read all 150 comments to see if anyone had The Answer. Instead, there were several main (misguided) theories:

1) This is the Passover lamb, whose blood was used to daub the thresholds of the Jews. The “cigarette” is actually a brush. And apparently he’s using his own blood.
Why this seems wrong: I’m pretty sure that cake isn’t kosher for Passover. Also, the “cigarette” is actually a CIGARETTE. AN ACTUAL PARLIAMENT.

2) The “cigarette” is actually a scroll and this is referencing the whole scroll-and-lamb bit from Revelation.
Why this seems wrong: The “cigarette” IS A CIGARETTE, PEOPLE. And the end is on fire. And this is an ordinary cake lamb, and I feel like the lamb from Revelation has like SEVEN EYES AND SEVEN HORNS (which would of course make a fairly awesome cake.)

3) Jesus Christ is the Lamb of God who was sacrificed for mankind’s sins, and the cigarette is like when you get to light up before the firing squad.
Why this seems wrong: “Smoke ’em if you’ve got ’em”-style theology unconfirmed by experts in the field.

4) Sometimes people give up smoking for Lent, so Easter is like the signal to light up.
Why this seems wrong: On the one hand, I didn’t realize that Easter was such a jokey holiday. But on the other hand, the lambs are smoking Parliaments, the official cigarette of tacky people and ironic hipsters, so this just might fit.



2 Responses to “Epic religious mystery”

  1. Cher Says:

    Ok I went to the cake site and am totally inspired.
    I mean I love Ace of Cakes, but they are so out of my league. Some of these I could do though I would never have thought of the cigarette in the lamb’s mouth.

  2. Alison Says:

    Dear Elana,

    Thank you for guiding me to the Cake Wrecks blog. Before the Cake Wrecks blog, I was sluggish and sedentary. I ate only to curse myself later, spoke only to hurt the feelings of others, and watched only “The Price is Right.” But now, thanks to the Cake Wrecks blog, I’ve got a new lease on life. It’s as if I’ve gotten the Lap Band for my soul.

    Praise Jesus,


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