Ahhh, such a long blogging absence! I have excuses, of course:

1) My spec went out, and nobody bought it (BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE JERKS WHO DON’T WANT ME TO HAVE A DOG*) but I have been having many meetings. Meetings don’t seem like they should be tiring, obviously. You’re just sitting there talking to someone for thirty minutes to an hour. It’s not like you’re digging ditches, not even really shallow ditches. But after a while you get kind of tired. I could never ever be a development executive. Imagine having meetings all day every day for your entire working life! I would probably freak out and start wearing underpants on my head to liven things up a little bit. Or start pitching unsuspecting writers totally ridiculous ideas just to see how they’d react.

“So I have this idea, right, where this former fighter pilot lives under a bridge with a bunch of hobos, and he has this dream of becoming a puppeteer, but first he has to battle the Iranian air force… It’s going to be totally universal and relatable. Like Taken.”

Also, at one of the meetings the guy was all “Hey, tell your agent he’s a bitch-ass punk!” and I said “…” because you just never know with Hollywood people, and then he said that haha, he was just kidding, they were of course the best of friends… which I honestly found kind of disappointing, because how much more awesome would it be if he and Agent were locked in a HATFIELDS VS. MCCOYS-style fued and routinely used baby writers to deliver their slurs and insults!

2) I am getting married.

It turns out that I am not all that great at Being A Girl Who Is Getting Married. I was on the phone with Agent and Manager and the Young Man (“HUSBAND OF THE FUTURE”) was in the background, on the phone with Army, and at one point he said something kind of loudly and Agent and Manager were all “What was that?” and I said “Oh, that’s my boyfriend-” and there was this reproving pause and then they both said “Your fiance.” because one of them is married and the other one is engaged and they know how these things are supposed to work.

Also, my mom and my MOTHER IN LAW OF THE FUTURE are all “What are your COLORS? What kind of CAKE TOPPER do you want?” and the Young Man and I look at each other and feel embarrassed, because we’re having a backyard barbecue/wedding, and our colors are “Grilled meats”, and he’s changing out of his suit after the ceremony, and I’m only keeping my wedding dress on because I am so scandalized by how much wedding dresses cost that I’m determined to get my money’s worth (IT’S NOT LIKE I’LL BE WHIPPING THIS DRESS OUT TO WEAR LATER IN THE SUMMER, you know…)

Yesterday we had to go get our marriage license. You have to do that at a courthouse. We went to one out by the airport because it was the only one that was open and relatively close. It was in a vacant industrial park, and the line we had to stand in was for marriage licenses, birth certificates, and filing your small business paperwork. After you pay the fee (seventy dollars! I can only imagine this is some kind of marriage tax or something.) you go away for an hour and then eventually they give you your actual license. But when they gave us ours it was for the future Mr. and Mrs. Maximo Faust.

And there was a beat, and then we unwillingly said “…that’s not us.”

And then the bureaucrat said “Oh, it’s not?” and went off to find our real license, and then the Young Man and I felt tremendous regret, because GLORIOUS OPPORTUNITY HAD KNOCKED

AND WE HADN’T OPENED THE DOOR

BECAUSE JUST LIKE THAT WE COULD HAVE BEEN THE MAXIMO FAUSTS

Which is pretty much the best name in the world.

*Probably not actually their motivation.