I AM OPPOSED TO THINGS

September 5, 2009

Yesterday we went to Trader Joe’s to acquire things for today’s barbecue at our friend Julie’s house. On the way we passed this certain intersection that periodically has protesters standing around objecting to various things. On this particular day you had

GROUP A PROTESTERS

and

GROUP B PROTESTERS

on opposite corners.

GROUP A PROTESTERS held signs saying things like

FUND HEALTHCARE NOT WARFARE

and

OBAMA WE DIDN’T ELECT YOU
TO STAY IN AFGHANISTAN

and

SINGLE PAYER
IS THE ANSWER

etc.

GROUP B PROTESTERS were sitting on the opposite corner: basically a bunch of old people with flags and lawn chairs. Their signs said things like:

MY BODY
MY INSURANCE
FIGHT OBAMACARE

and

SOCIALISM IS NOT THE ANSWER

and

I’M OLD
AND I’M CRANKY

I was instantly seized by a really powerful desire to acquire some posterboard and go to a third corner on that intersection and hold my own protest. My signs would say things like

JUST SO YOU KNOW
I ACTUALLY WANTED TO WALK
ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STREET
BUT PEOPLE WERE STANDING THERE
PROTESTING

and

STUFF MAKES ME ANGRY

and of course

HONK!!!
IF YOU HAVE
THOUGHTS OR FEELINGS
ABOUT HEALTH CARE

I could have a glorious career as a protest-protester. I just know it.

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One Response to “I AM OPPOSED TO THINGS”

  1. Chris Kittinger Says:

    I would like to protest the fact that it has been a month since your last post. Don’t you go getting a life on us, the interweb needs fed.


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