Steer into the skid!
January 12, 2010
This morning I took Husband Guy to the airport so he could go to HAWAII. For Army Skool. But still, it’s in Hawaii. I don’t know why his unit doesn’t lie and claim their school happens in Nebraska. “Oh yeah, it’s terrible. It’s all in this drafty blimp hangar out in the plains, and usually you have to bunk with some elk for warmth and stuff… it’s a real hardship.”
(Hawaii! So mean.)
Because God lives for maximum irony, on the way to the airport for this Hawaii jaunt, I totally got the car stuck in a snowdrift, and even Husband Guy attempting to push it out didn’t work. So then I said “OKAY I’LL GET THE SNOW SHOVEL” and sprinted back to the garage (by “on the way to the airport” I mean “in the driveway” and by “sprinted” I mean “loped in an ungainly fashion on account of how I was wearing enormous insulated snow boots”) and ran back and we dug out the car. And he made his flight.
Winter in the Finger Lakes is interesting! Husband Guy keeps insisting that the climate here is actively hostile and trying to kill you. Sometimes I think he’s right, and then sometimes I think “Oh, how beautiful, a single deer silhouetted against the snow!” and then immediately afterward I think “HOLY FRIGIDAIRE IT’S COLD”. Obviously years in Southern California have made me weak.
On the way home from the airport, I hit a patch of road that hadn’t been salted properly, and even though I was driving slowly and cautiously, I started to skid. And as my car skidded off the road, with my new baby in the back seat, all I could think was two things:
1) So awkward to have to call your Husband Guy and be all “So, you know how you left me to take care of your baby? HERE’S THE THING WITH THAT.”
2) First, watch this awesome video of Flight of the Conchords:
Now think about how people are always telling you to STEER INTO THE SKID but then if you press for more details, nobody ever knows WHAT THAT MEANS EXACTLY.
So you know that part in the above song where Jemaine goes “What? Why? Be more constructive with your feedback, please.” ? (1:30)
As I skidded off the road in the gently-falling pre-dawn snow, trying desperately to figure out what “Steer into the skid” MEANS IN PRACTICAL TERMS, that’s all I could think about. BE MORE SPECIFIC WITH YOUR INSTRUCTIONS, PLEASE. In Jemaine Voice.
(Everything was fine. I did indeed skid off the road, but amazingly only into someone’s extremely conveniently placed double-wide driveway! Phew.)